You’ve probably heard the phrase ‘boundaries in marriage’ mentioned in movies, magazines, or tips from your friends or loved ones. It may sound common, but in reality, not many couples understand the concept of setting healthy boundaries in marriage.
What Do Healthy Boundaries In Marriage Mean?
Boundaries in marriage function as a limit or rule to avoid actions or behaviors that might ruin your relationship. When not practiced, one or both parties involved in the relationship may lose their individuality and become heavily dependent on their partners.
If you’re struggling to establish boundaries in your marriage, you can consult an expert relationship counselor for professional relationship advice and tips. They’ll also help in understanding each other’s personalities and needs.
How Healthy Boundaries Strengthen Your Marriage?
Marriage is about the union of two people who are willing to share everything with each other. But to make your marriage last, boundaries must be set. Here are a few points that will show how boundaries can help strengthen your marriage and make it last for life.
- Boundaries Can Strengthen Your Emotional Connection
Emotional connection is among the most important ingredients of a strong and healthy marriage. It is one way of showing genuine love in a marriage.
How do healthy boundaries strengthen your marriage’s emotional connection? Here’s a good example:
A couple who has been married for several years now allows each other to explore their personal interests and hobbies. When they got invited to a neighbor’s party, the wife went to the party first so that she could interact with the party hosts and the guests. Meanwhile, the husband decided to come by later as he needed to finish his workout in the gym.
When the husband arrived at the party, he saw his wife talking to her friends. At that very moment, the husband was so happy to see how great his wife’s social skills were. Meanwhile, as the wife saw her husband arrive at the party, she noticed his husband’s good physique, making her feel proud of him.
As you can see, the boundaries and space they give each other helped them see and appreciate one another more from different angles, strengthening their emotional connection and bond in marriage.
- Boundaries Can Improve Your Marriage’s Financial Health
No marriage is 100% perfect. But one thing that can make your marriage stronger and with lesser problems is when you establish clear financial boundaries.
As you know, finances are among the main causes of arguments in married couples. Perhaps one of you is not good at budgeting and tends to spend money on personal wants than the family’s needs. Maybe one of you finds it challenging to save money.
Creating financial boundaries may help your marriage become financially stable. Here’s an example of financial boundaries in marriage:
You and your spouse have different jobs. You opened a shared bank account so you can both deposit a fixed percentage of your salary. This shared bank account will cover your house expenses and leisure (e.g., food, shelter, utility bills, and others).
It’s also important that you have individual bank accounts. This is where you can keep your own funds for your personal needs and wants. It’s a best practice that you don’t share passwords of each other’s accounts. This shows that you respect each other’s boundaries regarding money.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend something for yourself as long as you prioritize the financial needs of your family. Establishing financial boundaries can feel liberating as it gives you freedom and control over your finances as a couple.
- Boundaries Reduce Marital Stress
Often, marital conflicts come from excessively trying to control one another. When your marriage has no boundaries, one of you will likely develop controlling behaviors affecting both parties.
Setting boundaries can help both of you understand which things are under your control and which ones are not. There may be situations wherein the husband has to take charge and make a final decision, and there may be instances where the wife has more experience on a certain issue.
The key is to always keep an open mind and be ready to listen to one another. Establishing boundaries and becoming open to one another will help you become more in control of your emotional reactions and reduce marital stress and anxiety.
Married couples are bound to go through difficulties and challenges. Thankfully, by establishing boundaries, you can both work on strengthening your marriage and enjoy a happy, fulfilling married life.